Big Girl Moves Aren’t So Badass After All

Moving is an...interesting experience; full of conflicting emotions that no one quite understands. Only this time, adding the shut down of the entire country to the mix. Trying to move during a pandemic seemed impossible, and it is the unfortunate reality for many in America currently. After graduating college this May, I was eager to get out of the small college town but found myself having to move in the midst of a large scale pandemic. My lease was quickly coming to an end and the urgency I felt to find a place to live intensified daily. After much discussion with my roommate, we both decided to move to a new city for a fresh start, but we had absolutely no secure income or employment. We decided to move to a large city and assumed finding a place to live would be easy. We were so wrong...

“I needed to let go of the expectations society had placed on me, and accept the situation I was in.”

Soon after we started looking for places to live I realized how difficult it was going to be to get accepted without a job. As we started looking at apartment complexes and other residential housing, we were quick to learn that we had no idea what we were doing. For the past five years, we both lived in student housing and did not comprehend that renting in a non-college town required different qualifications. I was going to need a cosigner. The thought of asking my parents at 23-years-old to cosign on an apartment made me feel like I had failed as an adult. In my head, I expected myself to be a fully independent adult once I graduated from college, but that was not my reality. I needed to let go of the expectations society had placed on me, and accept the situation I was in.

Overall, this process did not mesh well with my anxious tendencies. I tried to negotiate with landlords on my own and ended up adding more stress to my plate. I did not want to admit that I was lost in the real world and did not know how to navigate my next move. All I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and hide until life just figured itself out. Sadly, that is not how life works.  I needed to see past both the anxiety and my ego. Not only was I feeling like I failed myself, but also my parents. When I finally reached out to them, they were more than happy to help. Pushing myself to contact my parents for help took me too long, but I had to overcome the anxiety in my way to move on to the next step in my life.

Through this experience I have seen how blessed and truly privileged I am to have the support system I have. I was able to reach out to my parents and know they would not let me drown in the real world. Not everyone has accessible connections or support, which I recognize and feel lucky to have at this point in my life. I also learned that anxiety has the potential to hold me back if I let it. If I didn’t force myself out of my comfort zone I would still be in a small college town, but through utilizing my support systems I was able to further better myself.

“...through utilizing my support systems I was able to further better myself.”

Please reach out to those around you or to professionals when you are struggling. No one should go through hard times alone. Just always remember that the best in life is yet to come!

Hi, my name is Kenzie, I am a new college graduate with a Bachelor's Degree in Psychology and Sociology with an emphasis in Youth Studies and a World Religion's minor. During college, I served as a Sexual Aggression Peer Advocate operating a 24/7 sexual aggression crisis hotline. My personal journey with anxiety has been lifelong and I have devoted my career to helping those who experience it too. I am now working as a Youth Treatment Specialist in Michigan. Something fun to know about me is that I became a black belt in TaeKwonDo when I was 13!

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